We are constantly being sold to. Most our feed is now advertisements (however cleverly hidden), affiliate / sponsorship links, boosts, pages or products we aren't interested in. Meanwhile our own reach has plummeted. People aren't seeing our content! Worse - we're not seeing our friends' stuff, either!
Last Saturday I took an excursion to Olympia with my oldest son, just because we wanted a roadtrip and some noodles. End of story. I didn't have to ask, I didn't have to worry about my schedule. I knew I had the time and knew I wanted the trip. I didn't have to "make up" work when I got home. I've programmed my life with a lot of fuck-off time. This is lovely for snack attacks and beach days and goof-offs - but it's also *indispensable* for supporting my partner's career, for getting our sons to campus or to doctor's appointments, for running errands, for taking our cat in for cancer surgery! There is a little bit of juggling now and then but my partner and I know there's always time we can make for the things we need.
Some of our critics - implicit or direct, sensitive or boorish - provide us with that little grist for the mill that ultimately leads to positive change. I can't tell you how many times someone got on my dick about something and as I fumed and processed and thought it over, I came to realize there was something valuable in what they said. It might even be something entirely unrelated to their unwelcome fuckery - but nevertheless, the interaction led somewhere productive. This is mostly down to my own dogged determination to learn and grow, and I deserve mad props for that! But without their needling remark... maybe it would have taken me longer to get there.
When I get scared it can be really tempting to think I don't have time to play, it is wrong for me to experience Joy, it's wrong for me to be silly or give myself rest or recreation. I feel that dark cloud encroaching in my head and I am just so scared. Soon I'm telling myself a story I'm some kind of Cosmic Victim - the Universe is out to get me. I never say it in those terms because I know someone would argue me out of that. But that's what I'm believing, that's how scared I can get.
I know it doesn't sound that sexy to be consistent, predictable and honorable. But I think it pays off more than taking great photos. I think it pays off more than doing giveaways or collaborations.
Want asses in seats? Have realistic expectations. What exactly are you hoping to achieve? Are you wanting to make sales? Get followers on Instagram? Establish community presence? Provide a low-cost or no-cost service? Or do you just want to get out and about? Don't roll all these objectives into a big mushy ball. Think carefully which objectives are most important to you, and make plans accordingly.
I started my business officially in 2017 and initially I planned a family-friendly art side hustle. We raised our children and we lived our lives as radical unschoolers, which for many years meant one income for four people. When I got serious about business education in 2019, everything changed and I quickly developed into a REAL business. My family-friendly entrepreneurship evolved into a business friendly to chronic illness, which amongst other things means it is a very strong business.
I'd been taught that Art was talent. You either had it - or you didn't. More embarrassing than being bad at Art (whatever that means), was being artistically bad while being *earnest* about it all.
It's stressful to feel like you've gotta stop what you're doing and respond - and respond quickly and cheerfully at that, while expecting nothing in return! - but that really is what some people expect. It's astonishing, it's rude, it's absolutely wild and you have my sympathy. But those Bad Actors shouldn't dictate your policies; and those need to sustain you through the long haul.
"When you ask to pick somebody’s brain, you are essentially asking (often a stranger) if you can extract value without adding any value. [W]hen you ask to pick somebody’s brain, you are asking them to give away for free what they use to earn a living."